You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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