My friends, they love my intelligence
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
