I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
