I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
4 words: hood of his car
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
