this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
