Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this just has baby written all over it
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
