I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
