So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
