All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
