My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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