Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
