I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
there is glitter all over my balls
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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