Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
