ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
