Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
