I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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