ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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