I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
