i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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