I hate all girls vehemently.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
