You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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