Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
