you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
