I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
