$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
