Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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