so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
