He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
