yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
