Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
