hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
