the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
