i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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