Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
