my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
