3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
