I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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