I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
