I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
