dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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