hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
