Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
