So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
