All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
