he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Drunk is a universal language darling
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
