My brain says no but my pants say off.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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