If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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