the day after is always just damage control
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
