I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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