idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
