I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
