you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
