Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
